No one knows what a “Lose Your Lover” party is, but that’s not the point.

On one side of the University of Maryland’s campus, Tommy was being coerced into attending the party. His roommate and BFF, Michael Ng, drunkenly stumbled into the Pine Palace and insisted Tommy go with him to the party, otherwise he “was gonna die.” Nonetheless, Tommy declined. Mike protested, but Tommy could not easily be swayed. Set on Tommy accompanying him, Mike was determined to show Tommy just how truly unhinged he was. He picked up a cork coaster and took a huge bite, chewed, and swallowed, showing Tommy the interior of his mouth to prove he had ingested it. In shock, Tommy agreed that Mike would die if he did not go with him. Witnessing the whole event, their other roommate, Frank, agreed to drive them over.

Meanwhile, on the other side of campus, Steffanie and her roommate, Amanda, got ready and drove over to the party like normal human beings.

When Steffanie and Amanda arrived at the party, Steffanie saw Tommy dancing and playing beer pong, and knew they had to meet. Tommy came over to Steffanie and the two chatted throughout the evening. Before Steffanie left, Tommy asked for her number and scored those digits.

Steffanie waited, but alas, Tommy never texted her. Meanwhile, Tinder had become all the rage. Upon Amanda’s insistence, Steffanie downloaded the app. While swiping through one day, Steffanie spotted Tommy’s profile and swiped right, remembering him from the party. Tommy tried to be smooth saying, “I’d ask for your number, but I already have it” to which Steffanie replied, “Yeah, what the actual ****? Why didn’t you text me?” After ironing things out, the two decided to go to dinner.

Ten years later, Tommy is still the life of the party and Steffanie still calls him on his shit.